Paperback · 146 pages
Hospitals ask for your next of kin. What if the honest answer is nobody?
Every system you meet from here — the hospital, the bank, the court — falls back to a relative. If there isn't one, the fallback is a stranger a judge appoints. This book is where you name your own people first, while it's still your call.
Solo Aging: Living Well & Planning Ahead
- ✓The authority and designation steps, in the order to do them
- ✓How to ask someone — the script, not just the advice
- ✓A roster of backups, not one assumed friend
- ✓Housing, funding and the single-person Medicaid math
- ✓Guardianship you choose, or one a court arranges
One paperback. Free US shipping.
If you are planning to age alone…take a look at this book.
Made me think of things that could become issues in the future
Figuring out how to choose that someone that can make decisions
Try this first
Five blanks with nobody's name in them.
Every one of these gets answered eventually. In a married household most of them answer themselves, and nobody ever had to decide. Yours won't.
- Who is allowed to hear your diagnosis?
- Who can legally decide if you can't?
- Who notices when something is changing?
- Who drives you home after the procedure?
- Who pays for the care Medicare won't?
All five get answered in the end. The only question is whether you answered them, or a stranger did on the day.
What a blank costs
| Left blank | Filled in |
|---|---|
| The hospital falls back to next of kin | Someone you named, already on the file |
| A judge appoints a guardian for you | The person you chose, and a backup behind them |
| Nobody has standing to ask the doctor anything | An agent with HIPAA authorization in writing |
| A discharge becomes a logistics problem that afternoon | A name and a number, agreed while nothing was urgent |
| The cost of care is whatever you find out that week | A figure you looked up on an ordinary Tuesday |
Whichever blanks are still open is what this book is for.
For the household of one
Aging alone is not the same as aging without a plan
If you've just watched a parent age without a plan, you know exactly what's at stake — and you know there's no obvious person lined up to do it for you. Solo Aging comes at that fear head-on: it names it out loud, then dismantles it with a plan you can actually finish. Not a reference tome that reads like homework, but a steady, been-there friend who refuses to let you catastrophize or avoid.
You are not doomed. You are unassigned. This book is how you get assigned — a care network you choose on purpose, the legal scaffolding done right with no default next-of-kin, a funding plan for a solo old age, and answers to the questions that keep you up: who decides if I can't, who notices, who signs the forms.
From the author
Watch: who would decide for you?
If you're aging without a spouse or kids, there's no default person to step in. Solo Aging is the warm, practical plan that names your people and puts the paperwork in place — before you ever need it.
- ✓ Who decides if you can't — and how to name them
- ✓ The authority and designation steps no solo ager can skip
- ✓ Captioned · 25 sec · watch right here
Peek inside
See the actual pages
Not a description of the pages — the pages. Click any one to read it full size.
Know who may act for you
Hear the fear answered
See how people actually do it
What changes when they arrive
This is what's filled in by the time you put it down — names, not intentions. One paperback, 146 pages, free US shipping.
Have people who have actually said yes
A roster rather than one assumed friend, and the words to use — so the asking is a conversation you already had, not one somebody has about you later.
- Who to ask when there's no obvious person, and the script for asking them.
- A backup for the day your first choice is the one in the bed.
Opens on the conversation most solo plans skip
Have the authority in writing while it's still yours to sign
The authority and designation steps that decide who may act for you — who may hear a diagnosis, sign a form or move money — and the guardianship you choose rather than one a court arranges for you.
- Healthcare proxy, HIPAA authorization and durable power of attorney — and SSA's advance designation, which is a preference on file, not a power of attorney.
- What a will and a trust do here, and the blank where a default next-of-kin would be.
Three documents to sign, and the SSA designation to file
Know how a solo old age gets paid for, and where it happens
What long-term care costs, where Medicare stops, and how the single-person Medicaid arithmetic runs — settled while moving is still a choice rather than a discharge plan.
- Aging in place against a CCRC, the Village movement and co-housing.
- Spend-down, and the isolation risk nobody prices in.
Every figure cited to a named primary source
Start this weekend
You don't have to solve old age this weekend.
Three things you can do before the parcel arrives. None of them needs the book open.
Write down the name of one person you'd want called first. If you can't finish that sentence, that is the finding.
Ring your doctor's office and ask who they hold as your emergency contact. Whatever's on there was written years ago, by you, in a hurry.
Check which of these you already have — healthcare proxy, HIPAA authorization, durable power of attorney — and whether you have filed an SSA advance designation. Holding one of them does not do the job of the others.
Fifteen minutes, and the blanks stop being hypothetical — you'll know exactly which ones are still open.
Fill the blanks in yourself, while it's still your call.
One paperback. Free US shipping.
What readers say
Every review we have is below — nothing is filtered out.
“If you are planning to age alone or you know someone who is take a look at this book.”
I really enjoyed this book. I think anyone older and looking to age solo can get something from this book. I feel there were many ideas and guidance in this book. I love how the author points out some of us were just caregivers for loved ones and have been down this road but we were taking care of other people now its about us and we need to make a plan read this book if you want some good guidance in this direction.
Tanya, verified reader · Aug 2026
“Great tool for those needing to make a will!”
This is a wonderful book for those that need to plan their will, but do not have dependents or a spouse. It is difficult to plan who to have serve as your power of attorney if you do not have immediate family. This book goes into detail about everything from who will make your medical decisions if you can't to affording housing and your care as you age. Most people have their spouse, dependents or family as their POA, but what if you are not married or widowed? And have no children or living family members? This is something that a person must think about when they are alone and need someone to trust that can provide these services. As someone with no children, I did not think much of my care since I am married. But if I am a surviving spouse in old age I need to have a care network of those that can help as I age. This book has been a tremendous help and made me think of things that could become issues in the future. I highly recommend this book for anyone of any age planning their will, elder care, etc. It gives you topics and issues to consider that may not be on your radar right now.
Heather, verified reader · Jul 2026
“Feel Better About Solo Aging!!”
Solo Aging is straightforward and a little scary as it encourages people to come to the realization that they don't have "a default person" who can help when they need an emergency contact, someone to take them home after an emergency procedure, know where the important papers are, someone to help with medications....and on and on. I read this book because this has been weighing on my mind a lot, and it helped erase some fears and negative thoughts that started a year or so ago. For one thing, Solo Aging is "A category, not a character flaw." This book will help you change your views from negative to more positive about solo aging. Each chapter helps you choose the person or persons who can help you later in life. I loved the idea to include one or two people to watch for signs of physical and especially cognitive decline. This is a valuable book!
Jenni, verified reader · Oct 2026
Read all 17 reviewsHide reviews
“Having a plan is very important!”
The disclaimer up front is very important because rules and laws are so different in each state and also seem to change frequently. I feel like things are more complicated in retirement… I thought things would be made easier for us seniors, but nope. The ‘2 a.m. self-talk’ as described in the book hits the nail on the head. The goal reinforced here is to have a plan. Being alone is OK, but have plans in place. Solo-ager is a new reference term for me. I have to admit, I have learned a lot because I’ve had to step in for an aunt who never had children and is now over 100 years old. I have learned a LOT dealing with her, and the fact that I have no children and am a widow. This book is great. I like the pace and its honest but gentle and practical advice. As a bonus, there’s a document kit at the end of the book. Nice!
Some, verified reader · Oct 2026
“Good Resource for Planning for our Elder Years”
Good Informational book to help those who are wanting to be well informed about the aging years ahead of us. This book is geared to someone who is a “solo” heading into the aged years, but there are many things that elder couples can use also. Many important issues are covered. Important documents to have in order, medical care, support system. Making decisions and having backups installed and ready for when they are needed. This lets you age independently, feeling prepared for your future.
Deb, verified reader · Sep 2026
“An eye-opening book with a lot of greeting information”
This was a great resource. It had a lot of interesting points and gave a lot of information for someone who is going through the aging process alone. Talks about where to start information that you need paperwork, figuring out how to choose that someone that can make decisions in case you can’t make them yourself. And how to choose the right person for that. As someone who doesn’t have family or a spouse is definitely something that I need to start looking into.
Rosemarie, verified reader · Aug 2026
“Great Guide”
This is a great guide for people who are preparing to age independently without assuming family will always be available. The advice is clear, realistic, and gives useful steps for organizing healthcare, finance, housing, important documents before they are needed. Some of the information are easy to overlook, but the concrete actions at the end of each chapter makes the planning feel much more useful..
Devon, verified reader · Sep 2026
“Awesome!”
The thought process of this guide is absolutely amazing. I don’t think I really ever thought so in depth about living ahead. I think as humans we’re so into living in the now more so. This book is so real and very in depth how it is written. I can also see the author is speaking from their perspective and that very refreshing to read about. This is such a great and very informative piece!
Charise, verified reader · Sep 2026
“Practical Guidance for Solo Aging”
Solo Aging: Living Well & Planning Ahead is written in a straightforward, clear way. It contains a plethora of useful information (for both solo agers as well as those with partners)! Especially useful is the Appendix that includes a Document Kit with actionable steps to complete in order to feel prepared to "exit on your own terms."
Wendy, verified reader · Oct 2026
“Solo Aging”
This book offers some practical tips and some excellent information if you are interested in learning more about retiring successfully. I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Verified reader · Aug 2026
“easy to understand”
informative and well written in easy to understand language. I benifited fro quite a bit of the information that was provided > I liked the way the ideas were broken down into easy to understand sections.
Karen, verified reader · Oct 2026
“Guide for financial and medical preparedness for elders who are alone”
All in one guide for those who grow older alone but need a plan to secure themselves financially and medically
Karen, verified reader · Oct 2026
“planning ahead”
great read for people who love to plan ahead for the future! definitely a must read
Christi, verified reader · Sep 2026
“Wow”
This book is usually not my cup of tea but it was really good!
Your, verified reader · Oct 2026
“Practical”
Solo Aging addresses an important part of getting older that many planning guides overlook: what happens when there isn’t one obvious person you can depend on. I appreciated how practical the approach is, covering questions about medical care, decision-making, important documents, housing, and building a reliable support system. Rather than focusing only on finances, it considers the everyday situations where another person may eventually need to step in. The emphasis on creating backups and making decisions before they’re urgently needed is especially useful. A thoughtful and practical resource for anyone planning to age independently and wanting to feel better prepared for the future.
Shannon, verified reader · Sep 2026
“Solo Aging: Living Well & Plaaning Ahead!”
This book is great for those who are without kids, or spouses and they're getting older. You're getting older by yourself and need to learn how to find a person who can be your emergency contact, assist you with going to your Doctor appointments, learn what you want for your final wishes. It also explains how to be your own health advocate. It teaches you to plan ahead.
Lisa, verified reader · Aug 2026
“The nexts step”
I found this book repeated some of the same information. However for the most part it contains great information for some who has no family to help with age and the steps they need to take
Kathy, verified reader · Jul 2026
Where the numbers come from
Named sources, not a forum thread.
What care costs, where Medicare stops and who SSA would consider as your payee are all decided by somebody. This book names that somebody on the page where the rule is used, with who to ask and what to ask them.
- MedicareLimited skilled care, not ongoing custodial care
- MedicaidWho qualifies for help with long-term care
- Social SecurityAdvance designation — who SSA should consider if you ever need a representative payee
- National Institute on AgingWhat the research says about aging alone
Retirement In Order is written under the pen name M. E. Hart — a retired product leader who spent a career in healthcare and insurance, the two industries built on exactly the paperwork most families dread.
Good to know
Common questions
What is solo aging?
Solo aging is growing older without a spouse or adult children to step in — never married, divorced, widowed, or child-free. The practical problem isn't loneliness. It's that there is no default next-of-kin: hospitals, banks and courts all fall back to a relative who isn't there. So the decisions most people leave to their family, a solo ager has to make on purpose and put in writing.
Who decides for me if I can't decide for myself?
Whoever you named — or a judge, if you named no one. With no spouse and no children there is no automatic decision-maker, so an unplanned incapacity can end in guardianship, with a court choosing who acts for you. The book covers naming a healthcare agent and a durable power of attorney, naming backups for both, when a professional fiduciary is the right answer, and SSA's advance designation for your benefits.
What legal documents does a solo ager need?
A healthcare proxy with a HIPAA authorization attached, a durable power of attorney for money, and a will or trust. The chapter on the legal scaffolding covers each one — plus the part the general guides skip: who you name when there is no obvious person, exactly how to ask them, and who backs each of them up.
How is it different from the other solo-aging books?
The two best-known titles are 8–9 years old and read like encyclopedic reference manuals. Solo Aging is current, warm, and decision-first — it opens in the real fear and hands you scripts, checklists, and a one-page plan you can actually finish, coming in through the caregiver door most books aren't built on.
What's the free Solo Ager's Document Kit?
A fillable companion kit referenced at the back of the book — HIPAA and advance-directive templates, an emergency wallet card, a folder checklist, and the "ask a friend" script. It's free at RetirementInOrder.com/solo-kit and it's how the plan in the book becomes paperwork in a drawer.
Is this legal or financial advice?
No. It's educational — a plain-English guide to the decisions and documents, with every figure and rule drawn from primary sources and cited. Laws and dollar figures vary by state and change, so the book routes you to your state's forms and the right professional (an elder-law or estate attorney, your clinicians) to make it real.
What format does it come in?
A paperback, printed when you order and mailed to you — free US shipping, about two weeks. Published under the pen name M. E. Hart as part of the Retirement In Order series.
Is this the right book for me?
Yes if you're aging without an obvious next-of-kin and nobody's name is on your forms yet — that's the whole book. No if you're shopping for a retirement community, or you want fill-in legal documents; this one names the authority and designation steps you need and who should hold them, then hands you off to an attorney in your state. If someone would already be called first when you're wheeled into an ER, you don't need it.
What if it isn't right for me?
Each book is printed for you one copy at a time. If your parcel turns up damaged or misprinted, send a photo within 30 days and we ship a replacement free — you keep the flawed copy. Because every copy is made to order, we can't take a book back once it has shipped. Contact details are at the bottom of this page.
Your next step
Name your people while it's still your call.
The conversation, the paperwork, and the backup behind both.
Who may speak for you, decided in writing and asked out loud, before anybody needs the answer. One paperback, posted to you.
What the money buys against isn't a book. It's five jobs with nobody's name on them yet.
One paperback. Free US shipping.
Free companion
The Solo Ager's Document Kit
The fillable kit from the back of the book — HIPAA and advance-directive templates, an emergency wallet card, and the "ask a friend" script. Free.
Get the free kitMore free tools: Medicare Enrollment Calendar · Senior Discounts · Brain Games
You may also be interested in
Start getting retirement in order — one simple checklist at a time
Free quick-start checklists to help you organize the practical parts of retirement: what to gather, what to decide, and what to write down first.
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- What to update
- What to share with family
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